Mother's Day Minus Mother

As you all know, Mother’s Day is approaching. Since when is it almost the middle of April, let alone almost May? It may seem a little early to write this post, seeing as Mother's Day is about a month away, but with all of the hype already starting about this holiday, I felt obligated to write.

I am certain that when the day comes, my social media feeds will be filled with joyous pictures and kind words of everyone’s Mothers. It brings me much joy to see how children and their Mothers have such a strong bond. How these children were able to learn, grow and build an everlasting friendships with their Mothers. Being a Mother is a full time job for the rest of your life. You don’t get to retire after ‘x’ amount of years. You wholeheartedly commit to raising your child, loving your child and providing guidance for your child through every stage of their life. Their first boo-boo, their first crush, their high school graduation, the path they choose thereafter, their first big kid job, their marriage, kids, grandkids, etc. Your children look for you to help them through these stages of life. Mothers carry a child for 9 months, give a grueling birth that most likely lasted hours, and they are the go to source for any and all information needed for the rest of their children’s lives. I like seeing these posts. It wasn’t always that way though.

Honestly, I used to hate seeing these posts. I would mistake my envy for anger and resentment. I remember always thinking “it must be nice” as I scrolled. For me, I had a Mother who was around when it was convenient for her to be a Mother. For her, being a Mother wasn’t a full time job. It was more of like a PRN position until she ended up just quitting all together. For a while I held a lot of anger in. I never wanted to say anything because I wouldn’t want to bore people with my problems, or I would think “this is normal” or, I would feel embarrassed. It really burns, worse than acid reflux (which I’ve only had once but it really frickin sucked), when the woman who birthed me, the woman who carried me inside of her for almost a fucking year, can just disappear like I never even existed. But, from all of that, something absolutely beautiful happened. Something absolutely incredible. I gained nearly a dozen Mothers. These amazing women stepped up, when they were not obligated to, to guide me through those on going growing pains and keep me on the straight and narrow. To this day I wonder where I would be without these women in my life, but I am glad I do not have to know where I would be without them, because I would not be nearly half the woman I am today if it were not for these women. I am forever grateful. 

I went back and forth with myself about if I wanted to write this post or not. It is very bizarre for me to put something this personal out there. The reason I decided to was because I thought that maybe someone out there could relate, and that this post could possibly help them get through their tough time. They would know they're not alone. It is so easy to get wrapped up in the negative, hang our heads and feel sorry for ourselves. They say misery loves company. To prevent this, we MUST focus on searching for and seeing the good in the world. Focus on bettering ourselves, knowing that we will never be anything like them. We MUST keep a positive outlook and find uplifting distractions from the constant stresses of life. I am not saying that we can’t ever be upset about things that hurt us. Are we really human if we don’t feel? All I am saying is that if we linger in the gloom, the gloom will consume us. We will become the gloom. NO ONE LIKES GLOOM. It is okay to sulk for a little while, but remember your purpose. Find your passion. If you can spread that energy to yourself, it will empower you to continue to grow, become stronger and help someone else along the way.

Anyway, sorry for the serious rambling. The next post will be back to your regularly scheduled sarcasm and sass. Happy Mother’s Day!

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”
-C.S. Lewis



  1. Cassie
    I am just so proud of the woman that you have become. You are an intelligent, funny, caring, loving, sarcastic ( which I love about you) respectful, reliable, responsible, trustworthy, sensitive, beautiful inside and out. I always put you in my prayers. You know I am always here for you as well, even if you just need to talk. Don't build walls too high that they can't come down, resent will eat you alive. It's easier to forgive, that doesn't mean you are letting your guard down, it just makes your internal health better. It also means that you don't have to have a relationship on-going, it means you can move on. The hurt will cease, but the memories last forever good and bad. Keep living in a positive light Cassie, you only deserve the best and don't settle for anything less. Kellie (Jacci's mom)


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