Okay so old news, but growing older isn't as cool as it was perceived to be when you're 15 stuck at home mad because you can't get a ride to the mall on a Friday night. Looking back I'm like, what on God's green earth was so cool about walking around Great Lakes Mall from 6-9 on a Friday night. "Hey ma, can I have twenty bucks for the mall tonight?" I mean really, what did I think I was going to get with twenty bucks.. Half of a Hollister tee?
At first it's super awesome. No curfew, eat junk food, or leave whenever I want and delete the annoying out the door convo that went:
"I'm going to (insert place), with (insert people). No there won't be drugs. No there won't be alcohol. I'll be home at (insert time). Yes I will check in hourly."
And then reality sets in. How much is car insurance? What does comprehensive and collision mean? You mean water and heat aren't free? Gas is expensive. $3 a gallon for milk?! Good thing I don't drink it. HOW DID I USE SO MUCH WATER LAST MONTH? Time to stop showering I guess. Wait I have to pay for renters insurance too? Shouldn't trash and sewage be free? I could go on, but you get the idea.
Don't get me started on the hangovers. Since when did ONE night of drinking become a THREE day recovery process. I mean seriously.
Day One: self pity while hugging the toilet bowl. Sunglasses are essential.
Day Two: McDonald's breakfast and Excedrin. And water. Lots and lots of water.
Day Three: I can finally function at 80%. Wow, I could really go for a Big Mac.
Speaking of Big Mac's, since when did my metabolism come to a dramatic halt? I wish I could go back in time, slap myself for ever referring to myself as "flabby", alert myself that it only gets worse and that is it absolutely impossible to lose weight as quickly when you're in your mid twenties. I mean really. I used to be able to eat, go workout, eat and go about my business. Now it's more: I can't eat now because I workout in two hours, *30 min of cardio* "WOW IM EXHAUSTED", eat, "holy crap I'm sore", help me I'm dead.
These are my experiences of growing older. Maybe I'm just doing it wrong.